"FAMILY" - Word Origin & History
c.1400, "servants of a household," from L. familia "household," including relatives and servants, from famulus "servant," of unknown origin. The classical L. sense recorded in Eng. from 1545; the main modern sense of "those connected by blood" (whether living together or not) is first attested 1667. Replaced O.E. hiwscipe. Buzzword family values first recorded 1966. Phrase in a family way "pregnant" is from 1796. Family circle is 1809; family man, one devoted to wife and children, is 1856 (earlier it meant "thief," 1788, from family in slang sense of "the fraternity of thieves"). Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
c.1400, "servants of a household," from L. familia "household," including relatives and servants, from famulus "servant," of unknown origin. The classical L. sense recorded in Eng. from 1545; the main modern sense of "those connected by blood" (whether living together or not) is first attested 1667. Replaced O.E. hiwscipe. Buzzword family values first recorded 1966. Phrase in a family way "pregnant" is from 1796. Family circle is 1809; family man, one devoted to wife and children, is 1856 (earlier it meant "thief," 1788, from family in slang sense of "the fraternity of thieves"). Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
FAMILY Characteristics
Universality: There is no human society in which some form of the family does not appear.Malinowski writes the typical family a group consisting of mother, father and their progeny is found in all communities,savage,barbarians and civilized. The irresistible sex need, the urge for reproduction and the common economic needs have contributed to this universality.
Emotional basis: The family is grounded in emotions and sentiments. It is based on our impulses of mating, procreation, maternal devotion, fraternal love and parental care. It is built upon sentiments of love, affection, sympathy, cooperation and friendship.
Limited size: The family is smaller in size. As a primary group its size is necessarily limited. It is a smallest social unit.
Formative influence: The family welds an environment which surrounds trains and educates the child. It shapes the personality and moulds the character of its members. It emotionally conditions the child.
Nuclear position in the social structure: The family is the nucleus of all other social organizations. The whole social structure is built of family units.
Responsibility of the members: The members of the family have certain responsibilities, duties and obligations. Maclver points out that in times of crisis men may work and fight and die for their country but they toil for their families all their lives.
Social regulation: The family is guarded both by social taboos and by legal regulations. The society takes precaution to safeguard this organization from any possible breakdown.
Universality: There is no human society in which some form of the family does not appear.Malinowski writes the typical family a group consisting of mother, father and their progeny is found in all communities,savage,barbarians and civilized. The irresistible sex need, the urge for reproduction and the common economic needs have contributed to this universality.
Emotional basis: The family is grounded in emotions and sentiments. It is based on our impulses of mating, procreation, maternal devotion, fraternal love and parental care. It is built upon sentiments of love, affection, sympathy, cooperation and friendship.
Limited size: The family is smaller in size. As a primary group its size is necessarily limited. It is a smallest social unit.
Formative influence: The family welds an environment which surrounds trains and educates the child. It shapes the personality and moulds the character of its members. It emotionally conditions the child.
Nuclear position in the social structure: The family is the nucleus of all other social organizations. The whole social structure is built of family units.
Responsibility of the members: The members of the family have certain responsibilities, duties and obligations. Maclver points out that in times of crisis men may work and fight and die for their country but they toil for their families all their lives.
Social regulation: The family is guarded both by social taboos and by legal regulations. The society takes precaution to safeguard this organization from any possible breakdown.
The video below is very poor quality, and is a brief snip-it of a family get-together in 1986 on Christmas Eve.
The FAMILY - in my view is one of the strongest forces which exists in the world. The fully functional FAMILY offers strength, sanctuary, wisdom and unconditional love and support for it's members! I do not believe that family consists of blood membership only. There have not been many, but I have known a few close "brothers" and "sisters" whom I have felt "family-close" in my life. So strong is the need to "belong" that young persons leave their dysfunctional families of origin and join street gangs in an effort to fill that void. These gangs often times give the youth the familial camaraderie that is otherwise lacking within their own home.
Ahhh, the family. That wonderful entity from which we gather our strength, helping us to go out into the world to make impact in whatever life goals we entertain! Yes, that familial pillar of strength which also serves as a sanctuary providing us compassion, understanding and support from all those destructive forces the world may choose to throw at us, some of which which intending to do us great harm. Thank goodness for the institution of the FAMILY! All for one and one for all, for that is how I believe, at their best they should function. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING! They should ALWAYS be on our side, as we should also ALWAYS be on the side of our family's members unconditionally, to always be wishing its members the best, providing support, encouragement and generally cheer-leading us as we make our way through all of life's hurdles! Family members who are forever giving each other the benefit of the doubt!
The family can be large consisting of several members or as small as a couple joined in the partnership of marriage. I have seen marriage transform two non-directed individuals into a strong, goal oriented force displaying new found tenacity and inner fortitude.
Ahhh, the family. That wonderful entity from which we gather our strength, helping us to go out into the world to make impact in whatever life goals we entertain! Yes, that familial pillar of strength which also serves as a sanctuary providing us compassion, understanding and support from all those destructive forces the world may choose to throw at us, some of which which intending to do us great harm. Thank goodness for the institution of the FAMILY! All for one and one for all, for that is how I believe, at their best they should function. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING! They should ALWAYS be on our side, as we should also ALWAYS be on the side of our family's members unconditionally, to always be wishing its members the best, providing support, encouragement and generally cheer-leading us as we make our way through all of life's hurdles! Family members who are forever giving each other the benefit of the doubt!
The family can be large consisting of several members or as small as a couple joined in the partnership of marriage. I have seen marriage transform two non-directed individuals into a strong, goal oriented force displaying new found tenacity and inner fortitude.
Little One
© Audrea Harvey
This is a letter to you to prepare you for life.
You have a beautiful mommy & a hard working daddy. A few aunts ready to spoil you rotten & a grandma & grandpa that are ready for their first grandchild. But you have a long road ahead of you. Many triumphs and a few set backs to be expected. But whatever may come your way, Your family will be there. This world is a crazy place, Has many unexpected events. In your lifetime you will see and experience many surprising things. There are times when you will be overwhelmed by expectations, Take it one day at a time. There will be several firsts, from your first smile to your first crush. There will be good times and hard times but the people, who love you and care about you the most will be there form the first smile to hardest times, Will always be your family. Whether your mommy's angel or Daddy's little one- Your parents will always be around. |
There will be times that you think Mom and Dad have no idea what you are going through we have all been there.
There will be times that you feel everyone is against you-we just want to keep you from making our mistakes. At some point you'll look back at everything and realize that mom and dad were right It's a scary feeling, I know first hand. In everything you do- I wish you luck. Follow your dreams, Reach for the stars. But never forget where you came from. Also take it from me- They say that you cannot come back home, Obviously they don't know our family In this family-the road always leads back home. So little one- Welcome home, We have waited awhile for this day. Are you ready for this crazy thing we all call life? |
I like the above poem. It's simple and touches upon much of what I believe a family should stand for and represent. I find particular pleasure with, "In this family-the road always leads back home."
Now, had I not been as old as I currently am, we might be close to ending this section. I generally enjoy happy endings and have been a solid believer that anything can be solved any issue resolved in a harmonious positive way, any broken thing fixed (almost) as good as new. This is what I always strive for at any rate. Families are so important that every effort should be made to keep them healthy, through honest communications, careful emotional pruning, and consistent and clear feedback. But I am older. I see now that there are instances and circumstances that spoil and go bad. Sometimes go so bad that there is no "happy" answer which makes everyone feel better in the end.
Now, had I not been as old as I currently am, we might be close to ending this section. I generally enjoy happy endings and have been a solid believer that anything can be solved any issue resolved in a harmonious positive way, any broken thing fixed (almost) as good as new. This is what I always strive for at any rate. Families are so important that every effort should be made to keep them healthy, through honest communications, careful emotional pruning, and consistent and clear feedback. But I am older. I see now that there are instances and circumstances that spoil and go bad. Sometimes go so bad that there is no "happy" answer which makes everyone feel better in the end.
What happens when families go wrong?
What happens in toxic, dysfunctional families?
Bad things happen - very bad things!
When jealousies and resentments are allowed to build up through months and years, with no damage control being exercised at all, then families can become irretrievably TOXIC with its members spewing verbal & emotional poisons to its members. Yes, like a garden, it needs careful attention. Allowed to grow with no support, no water, no weeding the garden begins to look bad. Its flowers die as infectious weeds begin to dominate. Slight scratches and small abrasions which surfaced in childhood can metamorphosize into festering boils as adults if not properly "medicated" when the infection first set in.
Or like a gangrene which sets in after an infection, this family's toxicity is pure poison, hurting everything it touches. When this level of toxicity occurs, and family members are so closed to the truth, substituting instead their own skewed versions, then there is nothing that can be done, except to severe that relationship - almost the same way that a totally infested limb is severed, lest it infect the whole body.
When certain family members can no longer be sources of strength; when they can no longer provide support; when they hurt like thorns & prickles; when they destructively criticize; when they attack - then deny attacking - and then attack again; when they say devastatingly hurtful things and then offer a superficial & blanket apology thinking all is better now; When family members turn toxic, when they knowingly push those most private buttons and become purposefully hurtful then it is time to remove them from your life. Because they are no longer on your side. Encouragement and support give way to wishing the worst to its members. We can all get plenty of the-bad-stuff in other-life circles - we don't need that, nor should we expect that from our own family. It is a profound betrayal of their confidence and trust.
This is even more true as you become older. The mindless and pointless fighting and attacking becomes that much more mindless and pointless. What a waste. Too, too old to be dealing with thorns and prickles. Time becomes that much more valuable - and lets face it, if we haven't figured out the problem and how to fix it by adulthood, then any more ruminating on it is just wasted effort...
Time to remove the thorns & prickles...Yes, when this happens it is time to mourn a now infected & failed relationship. When this happens nobody wins and in fact, a relationship dies. This is what has happened in a segment of my family. It is now time to move on.
THERE COMES A TIME IN LIFE WHEN YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF
ALL THE POINTLESS DRAMA & THE PEOPLE WHO CREATE IT &
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH SO HARD
THAT YOU FORGET THE BAD AND FOCUS SOLELY ON THE GOOD.
AFTER ALL, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY!
More to come.....
There's always more to come...
There's always more to come...